199.6
Breakfast Jack combo, didn't eat the potatoes - they were gross.

200
Jimmy Dean Sausage breakfast bowl, orange juice, everything bagel.
Cottage cheese, tomato and avocado

I have a co-worker that has asked to walk with me on my breaks.  Since I have agreed to do this, I feel obligated to follow through and walk.  No slacking.  My legs are starting to feel better and am able to walk more.  I need to remember not to let this happen again.  You have to keep at it.  Once you start, you can't stop.  If you do, you are pretty much starting over. 

201.4

Banana Nut Muffin

So, last weekend I flew to L.A. and back.  On the way back, I had a layover in San Jose.  It was early morning and I was still hungry, having had a sort of avocado sandwich before the flight.  I found a pastry place and got a banana nut muffin and a coffee.  Oh my goodness!! Both were so very good.  I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT MUFFIN!!! 


I don't usually eat that sort of thing because of my diabetes.  I don't ever even want or crave stuff like that.  My cravings are usually salty.  Anyhoo, I really want another muffin.  I bought some blueberry and some apple cinnamon muffins at Safeway, but I don't want them (my family is eating them).  And COSTCO muffins are too big and yucky.


I am not going to be happy until I find another muffin.

Odd

It's really odd.  I have lost a little over 2 pounds in the last few days.  I have eaten pretty badly and a lot.  It seems when I go through one of these jags, I lose weight.  I really don't understand it.

Pain

My legs are starting to hurt again.  I had forgotten that the less I walk, the more I hurt.  It hurts to walk, but I have to get back at it.  It scares me to think of going back to the way things were.  Barely able to walk at all.  At one point I was walking 3-4 times around the parking lot at work twice a day, taking 3 flights of stairs 3 times a day and taking the stairs to the 2nd floor several times a day.  Now, I barely make it twice around the parking lot once a day.  No stairs at all.  I guess with arthritis, you MUST keep moving.  It's like the blackberry bushes here in Oregon.  If you don't control them they will take over everything.  You know, that is a good analogy for me.  Arthritis is like creeping, painful blackberry brambles.  Walking equals pruning.

I don't really have much to say anymore, so I think this blog is going to be more of a diary for me, than anything else.

Breakfast was 3 scrambled eggs, 2 slices of toast with real butter and a glass of milk.

Still Here...Barely

I'm not doing great at all.  I haven't given up though.  Or maybe I have.  I hardly ever walk anymore, I am sort of back to my old eating habits (but not gaining, so that's good).  I am just tired.  The stress coming in from all directions is just unbelievable.  I can't even begin to think about healthy eating and all the planning that goes along with it.  


Dinner was 3 cheese hot dogs, no bun and a brownie.  Breakfast was a Jimmy Dean sausage breakfast bowl, orange juice, banana, and an apple cinnamon muffin.  Lunch was cottage cheese, tomato and an everything bagel.

Airplanes

When I first started this blog, one of the things I wanted to accomplish was being able to fit in an airplane seat.  Well, this weekend I did.  I flew to L.A. for the weekend.  Not only did I NOT need a seat belt extender (I have in the past), but after fastening my seat belt, I had a good 6-7 inches of belt leftover.

Good deal.  I'm happy.

I just cannot get motivated.  


You would think losing 50 pounds would be motivating, but it's not.  I'm tired. I am tired of the whole thing...what should I eat, what should I not eat, well that didn't work, I'm hungry, I want a burger and fries, that piece of pie looks awesome.  I can't exercise today because...my back hurts, no time, I'm tired, did not sleep last night, my knees are killing me, it's too hot, it's too cold.


AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!  I AM SO FREAKING FED UP!!!!  What the hell was I thinking, letting my body get in this shape?!?!


Eh, whatever.

Starting Over, Picking Up Where I Left Off...Not Sure

Well, I haven't put much effort into my weight loss in a long time.  I have been maintaining my lost weight, but nothing more.  I am sitting here eating candy as I type.  I had some candy earlier today too.  I have been completely absorbed with my move to Southern California, trying to find a job, worrying about how my son and grandson will do, worrying about how much longer my new relationship can stand the distance (992.7 miles apart), worrying about keeping my current job (I have told them I am looking for work in Cali.), and sooooo much more.  I have fallen back on the comfort of my old habits, eating sugar.  And I like it.  I will probably continue for a while until I can become less stressed.  Right now, my favorites are Peanut M&Ms and Chewy Lemon Heads.


I have been thinking though, that I should get back to blogging.  It made all the difference in the past, making friends and receiving their support, supporting them to the best of my ability.  I have truly missed my friends.  I hope everyone is doing well.