Ok. So. I have decided to start a blog hoping for accountability. Today for breakfast I had 3 eggs fried in bacon drippings, 2 slices of toast with butter and a glass of water. Good grief, it sounds a whole lot worse when you write it down! My point exactly for this blog. If I write it down and know that other people might see this, then, well, you know.
I have never been a yo-yo dieter, never been a binger-purger, never been a closet eater (hide food so others won't see), never eaten a whole container of (insert food here). I used to hike a lot, used to walk 4 miles in 45 minutes, had a stretching routine. I did this for several years and I loved it, I was so very happy. Then, I blew out my knees and arthritis set in. Compound that with a series of BAD relationships and you have a mess. Me. Gaining weight makes me unattractive and that is exactly what I wanted. I wanted to disappear and blend into the background. And I did. But in the process, wasted so many years of my life. I can't get those years back, but I hope to make the years to come, better.
I have been trying to pay attention to when I am full. Well, not neccessarily full, but satisfied. If you are full, there is a chance you have eaten too much. I am trying to drink more water, have started walking on my breaks. This is killer on my knees, but my back feels better. Every step I take is painful. I am trying to be more aware of the quality of my food, too.
I used to like to cook, but the things I cooked were good for you, healthy foods. But after my knee surgery, standing for so long hurt too much and I stopped. Fast food and and frozen food became the norm. And then on and on, until I got to where I am at today. I am sick to death of these kinds of foods. I am also sick to death of thinking about food, what to eat, what not to eat, etc, etc. I would be happy if I never had to eat another bite of food.